


Discovering Dean's Diary

by abitofarockyroad



Series: The Adventures of Dean's Diary [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 11:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1686941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abitofarockyroad/pseuds/abitofarockyroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel goes searching and finds a strange handwritten book which turns out to be Deans diary. A lot is revealed about Deans private life leading to amusement on Sams part, confusion on Cas's, embarrassment on Deans and enjoyment on yours. Who knew Dean's diary would be so dirty? ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discovering Dean's Diary

**Author's Note:**

> Just something silly I wrote. An idea I’ve had for a while :D - Bella

You look over at the clock and see it’s already 11am. Taking another bite of your toast you glance over at Sam with his bowl of cereal, nose buried in yet another thick leather bound book doing more research. Dean, after being at a bar until gone 3 in the morning last night, was still in bed sleeping off his hangover. Just as you were marvelling at the lack of company in the usually rather busy kitchen, Cas, creating a sudden break in the mundane tranquillity which usually accompanied your breakfast time, pops into the bunker, causing you to jump and spill your coffee down your top.

“Son of a bitch.” You mutter under your breath angrily, grabbing a napkin and wiping the brown stain on your top. After a brief apology, Cas sits and places a tatty book on the table in front of him.

“I found something today while looking through the files in the basement. It’s a strange handwritten book. It looks like Dean is writing it. I think you call them dairy’s?” Cas says, holding up the book and opening it on a random page to show you Dean’s recognisable scrawl inside.

“Deans diary?!” You gasp, snatching out of Cas’s hand quickly and flipping it open.

“Yes. He talks about wet dreams a lot. I’m concerned he may drown.” Cas says, his face so genuinely worried you don’t know whether to laugh or give him a reassuring hug. At this, Sam, who had remained quiet throughout the conversation, snorts into his cereal so violently the bowl erupts like a 16 year old member of the chess team (who is most assuredly a virgin) at a strip club.

“Who the hell did he have a wet dream about?” Sam says, laughing and attempting to wipe milk off of his chin.

“I’m trying to find it, hang on.” You say, urgently flicking through the diary.

“This is some 50 Shades of Grey shit right here Sam. He has described in great detail all of his dreams and fantasies” You say with a grin on your face.

“I am confused.” Cas pipes up.

“Why confused Cas?” You ask

“What exactly is a wet dream?” He asks. It’s your turn to snort this time. You turn and grin at Sam.

“I think it’s time you had the talk with Junior.” You say, watching the realisation dawn on Sam’s face.

“Oh no. I’m not doing that. No way.”

“Well I’m not doing it! You’re a guy you explain it!” You say, picking up the diary and walking out of the kitchen. Intrigued by what Sam was going to say you stop and listen from just outside the door.

“Right Cas. I’m gunna make this real simple. I never, ever, thought I would be having this conversation with somebody. So just sit and listen to try and prevent this from getting any more uncomfortable than it needs to be.” Cas must have nodded because Sam continued.

“Right so you know when two people love each other very much and they…urmm…make love?”

“How can you construct a feeling?” Cas asks in the way that you know is accompanied by a confused head tilt.

“Sex Cas.” 

“Oh. I understand now.”

“Right so they do that. What dean is talking about in his diary is him dreaming about those things happening with him and various people.”

“But where does the water come from?” Cas asks.

“You know what. I can’t. It’s impossible.” Sam says standing up and walking out of the kitchen. Cas quickly follows, watching Sam leave and looking even more confused than he did before.

“It’s alright Cas. Look it up on the internet. But don’t click on anything that says you’ve won a prize. You haven’t. Also avoid anything saying ‘meet singles in your area.’ They are not there to talk to. You remember what happened last time when you went to meet ‘CockLover69’ with a chicken? Ok good.”

2 HOURS LATER

You had typed up the best of the passages from Dean’s diary, places the diary in the middle of the table so there was no way he could walk by without seeing it, and was waiting for him to come out of his room. You watched inconspicuously as he walked into the room, his eyes ,as you had hoped, widening at the sight of the diary on the table. He grabbed it and glanced at you, fear in his eyes. You grinned back at him, his worst fears being confirmed.

“I had the strangest dream last night” you began reading off a bit of paper. Dean ran at you and you sprinted away, dodging around the table. “It started off normal but then it got so fucking weird because Garth turned up. He had a stick and on the end was a huge black…” but before you could finish Dean tackled you and grabbed the paper.

“You’re dead to me.” he said simply.

“I have many more extracts hidden around the bunker.” you say, wriggling out from under him. He looks at you in complete and utter confusion.

“You haven’t…” He says in shock

“Oh I have” you say joyfully skipping away.

You waited eagerly for the next time you could spring a reading on him. Only half an hour after the first, the second presented itself to you. Dean had walked into the bathroom with a book under his arm, giving the impression he may be a while. You gave him a minute or so to settle down and positioned yourself outside the bathroom door. Speaking loudly enough that Dean, Sam and Cas could all hear from wherever they were, you began reading.

“Dear Diary. Tonight I had another wet dream. I really need to get laid. I can’t keep having these long showers. The others are getting suspicious. But anyway. In this dream I was naked and tied to my bed. Then Cas and (y/n) walked in, completely naked, and started to…” But before you could finish Cas had appeared behind you at the exact same time dean opened the bathroom door.

“I swear to god (y/n).” His face flushing red. He kept glancing between you and Cas before walking briskly down the corridor and into his room.

“Surely being naked would hinder our attempts to save Dean?” Cas said, looking at the piece of paper in your hand.

“Save him?”

“Well he was tied to the bed?”

“He wanted to be tied to the bed Cas.”

“Why would someone want to be tied to a bed?”

“He’s so obviously a sub. Something else to Google there Cas.” You say, patting his shoulder as you walk past him.

After the last reading Dean had been understandably avoiding you and Cas. If you walked into the room he would go bright red and leave straight away. You decide to try and lift his spirits in the best and most hilarious way you could think of. You pull the old projector out from the cupboard and project one of the diagrams Dean drew in his diary onto the wall, then covering it up to protect the surprise.

“URGENT GROUP MEETING.” You shout, grabbing the laser pointer you had found in one of the drawers in your room. Once everyone was present and seated, with a flourish you remove the cover and reveal the crude pencil diagram underneath.

“So if you look here” you say using the laser to point to a part of the diagram “you can see Deans’ penis which seems to be almost as long as his arm. Congratulations. Then here, I assume this is Cas. Cas seems to be touching here *point* and licking this *point* while simultaneously using his penis here, which is notably smaller than Dean’s might I add, *point* to touch me here *point*” You looked up, rather pleased with yourself to see Sam crying with laughter, Cas inspecting the diagram closely and Dean with his head in his hands looking at the desk.

“Right. I’ve had enough.” He says, standing up abruptly and grabbing your wrist. He pulls you into his room and slams the door behind him.

“Why are you doing this?!” He asks angrily, rounding on you. “It amuses me.” You say simply, bouncing towards and then sitting on his bed. He watches you move and promptly follows, sitting close by your side on the bed, his hand brushing a piece of hair off of your face.

“Clearly you now know how I feel about you.” He says in a whisper.

“In fact I do.” You say, pulling a piece of paper out of your pocket. You clear your throat and read.

“I really do like (y/n). Her eyes are as dark as the night. Her hair as fair as cas’s wings. Her lips as red as blood. And dat ass. Lordy”

“I definitely did not say the last bit.” Dean says laughing

“Nah but you wanted to.” You say laughing along.

“So what’s all this about Cas too huh?” You ask, aware that Dean had suddenly got very close.

“I am conflicted. I don’t really know what I’m feeling. Can you just try and keep it to yourself please. So I can work it out and tell people what I need to in my own time.” He says imploringly. You nod in agreement and smile at him.

“I do however know exactly how I feel right now.” Dean says, glancing at your lips before beginning to slowly tilt his head to the side and move towards you.

“Are you feeling like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?” You ask, winking at Dean.

“Don’t ruin the fucking moment.”

“Hey. It’s in the list of your favourite songs in the diary.” You protest.

“Will you just shut up.” Dean says, pressing his lips against yours to prevent you from talking. You both sink into the kiss, your hands running through his hair, and his hands gripping the sides of your face, trying to pull you closer to him, although you were already so close it wasn’t physically possible.

“That’s a good way to be feeling.” You say with a smile.

“What, like a plastic bag?” He replies, winking at you this time. He takes hold of your hand and you both stand up, walking towards the door.

“No more diary stuff though please.” He says as you walk towards the main part of the bunker.

“There may be one more somewhere…” You say cautiously. You walk in and see Cas sitting at the table, looking down at a piece of paper with a face of confusion.

“I have one more question.” He says to nobody in particular.

“Yes Cas?” Dean replies warily.

“What is a blowjob?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys. For more of our stuff check out our tumbr abitofarockyroad@tumblr.com :)


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